Odd architecture decisions?

Some 'modern sculptures' I understand, others I do not. This is in the do-not category. Sighted right near the Experience Music Project at the Seattle Center. Why are there giant bamboo flat pieces of wood up in the air? I have no idea. But they look amusing enough. Some of them look quite banged up so I wonder if some geniuses have attempted to climb up them. Good luck!



This photo is at the Amazon campus. It is our main 'meeting' building and I really like the subtle logo on it. Amazon never puts crazy in-your-face logos on buildings, but this one is at the center of the campus. I like it, especially for the nice courtyard for sitting outside. Great place to chill once summer starts. 

What would you do with a giant bucket of legos?

There are lots of random things that live on my floor at work (dogs... foosball... ping pong.... engineers...). One of those is a giant tub of legos. There are always fun creations that pop up in the breakroom. Turns out many people are quite good at legos (I am not one of those).

So Friday there was a building-wide competition for best lego floor. My floor picked "WAP (my organization) army" I believe. So everyone built a small 'creature' to contribute to the army. I think it turned out well. I contributed some funky looking flower and a wobbly person. Both are kind of hidden in this shot. :P No winner has been announced - I think they are going with the "you are all winners" strategy, but it was fun.

Cupcake Royale versus Trophy Cupcake

There is a happy hour at work every other Friday on my floor with a theme. Last weeks' theme was cupcake wars. Aka - cupcakes from Cupcake Royale and Trophy Cupcakes for all - which one is better? An excuse for a huge amount of cupcakes is always yes.

Hands down Trophy Cupcake for me. I love their cake moist batter and rich frosting. I find Cupcake Royale to be too dry and the frosting too similar from one cupcake to another. And minus maple bacon (which I don't even like), Trophy Cupcakes has much more awesome flavors (like smores!!).

I believe Trophy won in the official count (not by much). Though there were a couple of people that voted for Pizza and Beer (the other parts of the happy hour).

I was amused when I went to their sites that Cupcake Royale calls itself 'Seattle's Best Cupcakes' and Trophy Cupcake calls itself 'Seattle's Most Celebrated Cupcakes' in the header. Though both have the 'Seattle's Best Cupcakes' later down the page. I guess they do not trample each others' territory completely? Though where does the 'best' come from?

The photo above is from Cupcake Royale box. I was going to post the Trophy Cupcakes one but it was not as colorful so not as fun to post (their cupcakes are much less colorful. I love less artificial color).

So yay cupcakes. No need to have huge slices of cake - just a small cake for all. We actually had to cut the cupcakes in half so that more people could try them... but still - small slices and samples are awesome.

Getting to know a new neighborhood

My work has recently moved into the South Lake Union neighborhood in Seattle. All brand new buildings and no need to take shuttles across half the city for a meeting. Great, but it is an adjustment to get to know a new neighborhood.

For one thing - what the heck is that thing sticking off the building? I realize I am not the person who knows modern art very well, but that looks like more boogers to me than some sculpture. They have those things all around my building and it is extremely odd in my opinion. Extreme confusion.



So yes - we've moved in. Now time to figure out where to eat for lunch, re-program my auto-pilot to walk to the correct work location, and get used to the new office. I've got the office part down. Getting used to the walk to work (I'll stop complaining about it when it gets warmer out - 15-20min walk to work is actually pretty great). The food choices will take longer. I miss being in the International District of Seattle - lots of asian food of all varieties anytime. I miss me some good thai, pho and easy access Japanese. But I am sure I'll find places in the new area eventually - and if all else fails, apparently you can make Whole Foods cook food for you? That sounds pretty awesome.

Sharks and almost repeat outfits. Oh noes!

Nom nom nom. Yesterday was my last day of work in my current building - Monday I'll be coming in to a brand new building - no idea what it'll be like inside! Excited, but I'll miss the amazing views. I spent some time wandering around the floor taking photos - this one amused me the most. I did not ask for the story behind this... should I?



Shirt: H&M
Sweater: Forever21
Skirt: China
Boots: Fitzwell Edeen
Leggings: Hue
Necklace: Claires
Earrings: Renn fest

It occurred to me after putting on this outfit that I had a very similar outfit already. The skirt is different.... and the accessories. Blame it on picking out the outfit around midnight before having to get up at 6am for a flight. I also seem to have made the mistake of picking out some very similar color/style clothes for the challenge - makes it harder to come up with new more interesting outfits. But this is not a repeat... just extremely similar. I prefer this one to the old one actually.

30 for 30 Day 4 and Laser Tagging

Necklace: New Zealand
Cardigan: Banana Republic thrifted
Shirt: SO
Jeans: Express
Shoes: Sketchers
Earrings: Market in Belize

The main objective when picking out an outfit for today was maximum mobility. We had an all-hands at work followed by laser tagging today so I wanted to be ready on my game.

Laser tag is a huge amount of fun. This is only the second time I've ever done it. I started off with a score of around 350 which placed me roughly in the middle of my group for that round (16/35 players). But then after a couple of games, I was near the top. By the last game I came in with the 2nd highest score of the day. Mind you... this is 70+ engineer nerds that we're talking about here, so I was quite happy.

Yup, thats me. Tron. I belong in the computer world. =)

The main lesson I learned to getting a good score: commit a lot of suicide. Suicide runs are good. You get five points per kill, and one point off if you get shot. So if you run out you can get a couple of people and so what if you get shot once. I also tended to run after the same person sometimes chasing them around the maze to shoot them as soon as they recharge. Mean but.... thats how it works. :)

No photo of the day from this, hoping I'll get some nice shots while at dinner of food. 

Do you feel like an impostor?

I haven't been to many talks that have really inspired me in my life. Ones that really feel like they are applicable to me. One talk that really stuck with me was when I heard Mia Farrow talk in London about her efforts in Darfur. That talk made me want to change my life.... but I didn't. Did not quit the technical track for activism. Yet I do like to think I can make some sort of impact on the world through the efforts of APO, my service fraternity.

Yet one of the panels I went to today at the Grace Hopper Celebration for Women in Computing is something that really sticks with me, and I feel like it will continue to stick. It is something I have felt my whole life-I have after called it the 'inferiority complex', but I think that the term that is used here for it is much more applicable - 'the impostor complex'.

Do you have it? Do you feel like you should not be in the role that you are? That you were put there by some chance. That every success that you made was because somebody put down the wrong name... or picked you just because you were the only female... or that it was a raffle and you got lucky. And then every failure is because you were not good enough. That everywhere you are you are afraid of getting 'found out' in that you do not know what you are talking about. That you do not deserve to be there.

This is something that has been prevailing in my life. It has to be a mistake if something is good. One of the questions that was asked at the panel was 'when was the first time you felt like an impostor'. I think I remember the feeling most strongly when I got the audition as 1st flute in 9th grade at DC Youth Orchestra. I did not comprehend that I could be there... I felt like I would get booted off and found out any time. Then there was any leadership positions... why did I get elected to that? Why? How?

The feeling has escalated out of control in the past year, ironically enough as my self confidence has grown exponentially. You go to these job interviews and talk to the amazing people around you-how can you possibly get the job if the people around you are so smart. I went to interview after interview, not believing I can do anything. As an example of Amazon, I was 100% convinced I would never hear back from them. I was shocked when I got the email about the job offer... I did not want to tell people at first in case I got another email again telling me they sent it to the wrong person. It could not be? Then I started to feel good about it only to have all of those thoughts dashed as I flew out to Seattle to look at the company and see that I was the only female in the group of acceptees. Was I accepted only because I was the only female who they interviewed? Why the heck am I here? They are going to find me out when I start working... I will be fired. Even now that I have moved out to Seattle I am afraid to make plans with money, or plans for trips or even buying myself a year membership to the climbing gym because I am afraid of being found out and ousted before that time will expire. When people compliment me on my amazing job I put it down saying 'ohhh I don't know anything, they just hired me because I am female maybe... ', or some other thought going through my head.

But then... who said I was so bad? I see the interview process from the other side now. And it is really harsh indeed. The hiring bar is high. Yet I made it. I made it over the bar. I got multiple job offers. I overcame.

The panel was amazing. It was comprised of women professors, high ups in Google and Microsoft and PhD student and some more (apologizing for my horrible memory). These women explained how they felt like impostors in their life. It is amazing hearing this from somebody so successful. So we all feel it? So it is okay? So maybe you can be good enough?

I find it hard to wrap my head around this.

But I am making this my resolution. Take on the advice that was given. Stop doubting myself. Some of the things that the women mentioned were 'act confident and you will feel confident. Also telling others about your accomplishments... they really do exist! Also diving at what I am uncomfortable at... it can be overcome.

So just a statement to everyone else out there (and pardoning my horrible writing... this is why I am a coder and not a journalist), it is normal to feel like an impostor. But it is not good-and you are not. Look at the amazing things that have happened to put you there. I know I should drink some of my own medicine here but here is to trying.

PS-The Grace Hopper Conference is amazing. Amazon has a large representation here and it was wonderful meeting these amazing women both within my company and in general. So honored to be here, and also to check out a bit of the hot weather of Arizona. =)